Friday, May 26, 2006

An update

I've been receiving some very interesting emails since I started this "blog." Some have wondered what I looked like. Well, there you go.

To get Miss Val's attention:

1. Construct a compelling argument for or against faith.

2. Expose her to cutting-edge art or heart-stopping music. Explain the histories that underlie it and the theories that drive it.

3. Present her with a freshly cooked filet-mignon steak. Craisins on deli-sliced turkey work well, too.

4. Mention John Mayer, Condi Rice, Paris, New York, cognitive science, or coffee.

5. Give her a young mind to invigorate, an old tradition to incinerate, a half-baked theory to extrapolate, or a virgin sketchbook to adulterate.

6. Pinpoint and skewer her unjust biases -- insightfully. Invite her to participate.

7. Sit her at a grand piano in a room with stellar acoustics.

8. Approach her with a personal need that she is equipped to fill. Or a piece of writing to revise, or a furry animal to pet.

9. Bestow her with store credit at Costco, Starbucks, and/or Barnes & Noble.10. Tell her that she has impacted your life in a unique way. Be specific. Mean it.

11. Demonstrate that you're a vibrant and reflective human being. Indicate that you'd like to converse. Call or write her -- without a pretext.


Blogger Yossarian said...

i miss boston

7:55 PM  
Blogger calvinsroom said...

I'm an obnoxious asshole. I like to play the push-your-buttons game, I derive joy from being difficult, and I like laughing at the expense of stupid people.

Sometimes, people assume that, below the selfish jerk shell, I'm really a good guy. But, in fact, I'm like an asshole onion: peel away the outer layer and all you have is more asshole.

Who I'd like to meet:

Anyone who thinks they can hold my interest and keep up with my smartass attitude.

My standards are high. In fact, I probably won't even email you back unless you say something wildly entertaining or intriguing. Yes, that includes you.

medical_research_2003 at yahoo dot com

1:00 PM  

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